My strongest memories of you are in the last few years of your life, during your illness. I am not sure if this is just because it is more recent or because in this period you needed lots of focus and support. It makes me sad that all those memories are at least tinged with sadness, and some are downright horrific! But during this phase we have lots of good memories in amongst the sad ones. The hospital visits, time spent on outings, leave, and your period of discharge all contain some very happy moments. The memory of the bond of love between the five of us during that time looms large. From this period I remember your courage, your gentleness and kindness and your sense of humour even through very dark times.