I have so many memories of Eloise, we lived with each other for a year or so in Highfield. We went through it all together, I saw her on her bad days and good days. I saw her laugh till she cried, I saw her be excited about butterflies, about her new onesie, about all the little things in life. When you are holed up in a place, the people around you become your family - Eloise became my family. I knew without having to talk to her how she felt and what mood she was in. She taught me to smile at the little things in life, to let go a bit. I always buried my feelings, I never cried - I haven't cried in around 8 years and I tended to only want to talk about other people - help other people. Eloise changed me and my life, she showed me it was ok to take joy in the little things, to explicitly show people you were different and to own it. I always admired her for that. My gorgeous Eloise - you made me cry for the first time in 8 years. I cried and cried and cried. I was in Highfield before Eloise, and I remember seeing her and adopting her under my wing, she was like the little sister I never had. 

This memory is a random one, but a goodie. We were the only two doing GCSEs in Highfield and I remember us both sitting in the exam room to do our Geography exam, hers was 1.5 hours long and mine 3 hours. And she turned and looked to me and she said "Kira I am a unicorn, and you are now my little rainbow poop" And I remember just bursting out in laughter, my nervousness evaporating and disintegrating. The whole exam we kept smiling at each other and laughing. It was the best exam and when she left halfway through she looked at me and said: "You can do this, do you hear me?"

I hear you, Eloise. I really do, I can and am going to do this, for you my gorgeous. I miss you everyday - and only you know how amazing that day was, because for once we felt like girls who were normal and just goofing around, we felt peaceful.

I love you my lil one. Fly high.